About four months before Michael Jackson topped the UK Top 40 in February 1983 with ‘Billie Jean‘, one Thomas August Darnell Browder almost scaled the summit himself with his own tale of a fictitious paternity lawsuit. Of course, while he was – and still is – known professionally by those two middle names, he achieved the biggest hit of his career, along with his backing band, under the name Kid Creole And The Coconuts.
‘Annie I’m Not Your Daddy‘ is simply a sublime piece of pop nirvana, beginning with slowly seductive trumpets that act like a snake charmer to the intrigued listener, not dissimilar in effect to their use by the Special AKA on their 1984 album In The Studio. But despite the narrative by our protagonist, we soon suspect that, if anyone really IS a snake here, his rather over-zealous denials suggest that the finger of suspicion points in only one direction.
Over irresistible Latin grooves, the accused tries to justify his position by alleging to us that Annie’s mother was a somewhat promiscuous, insecure young lady whose stay in St Tropez resulted in perhaps more than a couple of acts of carnal negligence. “Your mama was in search of love, and all she got was used,” sings Darnell, in character as Creole, in the second verse, before delivering, post-chorus, arguably the meanest line ever uttered in a chartbuster – “you see, if was in your blood, then you wouldn’t be so ugly!”
‘Annie I’m Not Your Daddy‘ was only kept from the top spot by Culture Club‘s huge selling debut ‘Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?‘ and, unusually, was the highest charting single from its parent album, Tropical Gangsters, regardless of the fact that it was the third and final single from it, following the equally fantastic big hitters ‘I’m A Wonderful Thing, Baby‘ and ‘Stool Pigeon‘. A whopping 35 years later, ‘Annie…‘ still sounds as fresh today as it did back then, and really, that is a testament to its commercial brilliance.
