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These Monsters – Heroic Dose (Function Records)

Have you ever wondered what it might feel like to have the top of your head sliced off by some giant buzzsaw and then have your parietal lobe scooped out before a small colony of bats are released into the belfry of what was once your brain? Well, if so, you can save yourself a whole lot of time and trouble in having to learn how to perform a frontal self-lobotomy by instead investing in Heroic Dose, the second full-length offering by Leeds’ über-noiseniks These Monsters

It is a terrifying listen. Instead of a picture of a winged mini-bus on its cover, Heroic Dose should have a government health warning slapped all over it. This should read, “repeated exposure to loud noise can cause hearing loss, tumour formation and, in very rare cases, death”.

As if mindful of this, These Monsters sensibly limit the Heroic Dose listening experience to less than half an hour. To be infected by any more at any one time would surely be fatal. Shackled somewhere between Fucked Up and METZ, ‘Very Strong Very Clever’ breaks out of the metal starting traps at such a frightening gallop and then the beast that is These Monsters does not relent, not even for one solitary moment, until it grinds to a shuddering halt after the album’s title track another nine songs later.

Half of these songs crest the one hundred and eighty second rise, the other half don’t; but they do all share the same central characteristics of scuzzy anarcho-punk, visceral guitar and largely indecipherable screaming vocals. This is not music for the faint hearted. It is the aural equivalent of Driller Killer, a veritable vinyl video nasty. But whilst Heroic Dose may well be horrifying, it is also hugely enjoyable. Just make sure you listen to it with the lights on though.

Rating: ★★★★☆

Heroic Dose was released via Function Records on 27th May 2013

God is in the TV is an online music and culture fanzine founded in Cardiff by the editor Bill Cummings in 2003. GIITTV Bill has developed the site with the aid of a team of sub-editors and writers from across Britain, covering a wide range of music from unsigned and independent artists to major releases.